álainn hijabi: SZulaikha

Strangers. We began as strangers. I don't know you. You don't know me either. I knew a quarter of your story. You knew mine. We were almost like twins. Just that the opposite sex. You told me the biggest secret. No one knew except your friends and me. You were supposed to get married to her two weeks ago. But you left because you were scarred. You chose to leave to save yourself. People who does not know your story may thought you were selfish. But you were actually protecting yourself. At first, you kept it safe. You told me you were okay. But I know you wasn't. On the very day you supposed to get married, you texted me, "I loved her but she wasn't convinced.  I put down my dignity and pride but she took advantage.  I gave her love but she gave me pain." At that point, I imagined the sorrow in your eyes. The ache in your heart, The cold sweat on your hands. Your lips probably shivered. I kept quiet as you ranted on and on, And when you

Your smile. Your little pride.  Your way of thinking.  Your past.  I was in your past.  I saw how vulnerable you were. How you were afraid that you will not be in heaven if you defy your dad's orders.  How you would always put your parents first when I knew it was hard for you sometimes.  And that was mad respect actually.  All I could do was listen to you.  And secretly prayed Allah will ease your affairs.  8 years later,  you changed.  Eversince you had this job.  I am not blaming this job because every job is rezeki from Allah. I had not met you for years.  So I blamed myself for not being there enough.  But, this wasn't the change that I was expecting. Where was the person I had respect for?  Where was the person that uphold family values and religion? Where was the person that motivated me secretly to become a better person?  I was sad.  Disappointed. In myself.  For not being there all these years.  Little things of you I remembered clearly.  Your