Again.

assalamualaikum, readers. (: 

Again, I have been pinning hope on this one man. Yes, a man who recently turn 20. A man whom I don't even know. A man who is connected to some of my friends. A man whom I had not meet even for once. A man who inspires me and motivate me to do well and to be better. A man who literally always on my mind and always make my heart flutters when he replied to me on FB. It was late but it was okay. Like other love story of mine, it is just me. The one who is trying, the one who is dreaming, the one who does the talking, the one who always try to motivate and instill the trust in him, the one who always wait for his reply, the one who is always curious, the one who finally loss at words. Yeah, me. 

People said that I should wait because love will come and find me. No need to look for love. Well, you know what I guessed, I am impatient. Learning that a friend who got married and you know, the fact is you are already in your twenty made you think about these things or was it just me? I know, people will like "Chill laaa, you are only twenty whaaat? Why rush? " Its not that, I just missed everything. To be able to send texts to that someone, to call and hear his voice, to do little things for him, to spend time with him or in fact to find time to spend with him because both of you are busy with your work and to know that he actually feels the same way too made you happy. Don't you think so? And, yes, especially when he picks you up from school or work. Awwww, that is so sweet. 

For 7 years, I was on my own. Being a lamp post, checked. People ask for my advice on love, checked. People left me for their loved ones, checked. Like of course, I won't do that to my friends. 7 years, I watched people cry because of heartbreak, smile because he made her happy and all those mixed emotions. 
7 years too, I pushed people away because I am busy protecting my own heart and literally,guys gave up, back then, it was guys okay, Guys stopped trying and left.Me? I started to regret, hah, serve me right, but if they tried a little bit harder, I will probably give them a chance. They thought I liked them because of their looks and the fact, they did not have any initiative, turns me off. I mean it. 

I just need to vent this out. As for the man, I will just go with the flow. If he is meant to be mine, alhamdulilah. If not, I will just redha. 

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