Numb.

assalamualaikum, readers(: 

I cried for every time I lose someone along the way. 

I am so sensitive when it comes to heart issues. 

I get so annoyed when every time someone comes for a period of time

Especially when I needed someone, left.

"Am I not worth it?"

"Am I that vulnerable that you were taken aback?"

"Am I someone who you think that can handle all of this things on my own?"

Someone told me this, "Just leave them hanging. Don't need to give explanation to them. 

They don't care." 

You know what, that someone left me too. 

Words can be so motivating and comforting through text from a stranger. 

But, it will be meaningful if they said in person because it is much more convincing.

At least, I would believe it. At that moment. Even there is no effort. 

I need to see effort. They made an effort but in the end, once they got you.
They stopped trying. We are not even in relationship yet. Reason being, we are dating only. 

I see what you did there. 

I am not stupid. 

I date to marry. 

I date for a relationship to last. 

I used to cry. 

I used to be sad. 

I used to pin hopes. 

High hopes. 

But, I stopped. 

Not worth it.

Not worth at all. 

I become numb. Heartless. 

Almost heartless. 

This applies to both genders. 

I stopped trying to impress. 

Like today. 

just midnight thoughts.