You Are Loved.

Photo Credits: WeHeartIt

assalamualaikum, readers.

Last Wednesday(21/3), I attended a talk. Motivational talk by Ustaz Mizi Wahid (Safinah Institute). The title was You Are Loved: 7 Things To Remember. We tend to feel less of ourselves. We feel unloved often. We feel lonely. We weren't confident of ourselves, physically and mentally. We questioned our own existence in this world. We pretended to be happy but the truth was we were sad. 

Self-love is something we struggled often. It was our battles. It may be something we actually talk to people or it may be unspoken. Therefore, I will share with you the notes I wrote and may this be a benefit to you who feel unloved. 

Firstly, you need to know the difference between THINK & KNOW. THINK is people who do not have confidence in themselves basically they are unsure. Thus, when they are unsure, they become insecure of themselves. Making them feel they are not worth of anything.

But for KNOW, you are confident of yourself. You know whoever you are, people love you. Despite everything. 

THINK vs KNOW

I THINK SOMEONE LOVES ME

  • You tend to work hard to impress
  • Have to pretend a lot
  • Your mind is never at peace
  • Can never say (yet) that you are truly happy
  • Have to do more to win their love fully and completely
I KNOW SOMEONE LOVES ME
  • It puts you at ease
  • Don't have to pretend to impress
  • Don't have to try to be someone you are not
  • You can relax & be yourself
  • Comfortable 
  • Secure
YOU FEEL THAT YOU ARE UNLOVED BY ALL OF THE FACTORS:

FACTOR 1: EVERYBODY HAS A SOMEBODY EXCEPT ME

STRUGGLES

We battle with loneliness often especially when we crave for someone's attention. Especially when we are surrounded with those who are in relationship. It sucks badly. I know. It is an ongoing thing for me and for you too. The fact that you are already lonely and eventually, you will start to feel unappreciated/unaccepted. Also, when your friends tell you good news be it getting engaged/married, now, you have to deal with their happiness. You are happy for them but you can't help hoping that you will get someone too and it will be finally your turn telling them that you will get engaged/married.

However, for now, you don't have anyone. You feel unloved. 


FACTOR 2: I'VE NEVER HEARD THE WORDS. "I LOVE YOU!"

My parents have not said these three words face to face. In fact, I've said to my friends more than I said to them. It was tough love from my parents. They showed me that they love me through actions. In fact, I said the three words more to my aunt. You know the usual, "sayang bonda tak? Sayang! Sayang sampai mana? Sayang sampai langit. Sampai langit je?" And so on. And yes, I called my aunt, "Bonda" because she took care of me when I was young. I moved out from her house when I was in primary 4. Since I always get the three words from her, I was too dependent on those words and making me feel unappreciated when I do not get it at home with my parents.

If you experienced tough love like me, we tend to feel unappreciated more. Did my parents love me lesser? Am I not worth of their love? We have the negative thoughts but we know they love us still we cannot help to feel this way.

Over the years, we chose to deal with it but still, we feel unloved. 

FACTOR 3: I THOUGHT I'VE LOVED YOU UNTIL....

Have you ever love someone to actually find out you've been used? Or even, cheated on you? This can also be a factor to feel unloved. I mean, after all the things you've done for that person, how can they treat you like that? You love them so much with all of your heart but they do not even consider that fact.

"Am I not good enough?"
"Am I not beautiful/handsome enough?'
"Am I not worth anything in your eyes or even the times we spend together?"

Due to the things they've done, I decided I am not good enough. I feel unloved.

FACTOR 4: I LOST SOMEONE BECAUSE GOD TOOK THEM AWAY. 

God took the person I love the most. I shared with that person everything from being happy to sad. However, god took it away from me. It might be your parents, friends, spouses, children, family members and so on. Who am I supposed to love now? I poured out all of my love to that person and now, that person is no longer here.

Therefore, I feel unloved because that person loves me as much I love him/her is no longer here in this world. 


FOR ALL THE TIMES, YOU FEEL UNLOVED, REMEMBER THIS 7 THINGS.


  1. YOU WERE CREATED ON PURPOSE - Your creation is never a mistake. You are created to leave a mark in this dunya. We are the masterpiece that Allah created. We are HIS masterpiece.
  2. YOUR MISTAKES DOES NOT DEFINE YOU  - Every mistake can be forgiven because Allah is the MOST FORGIVING & MERCIFUL.
  3. SOMEBODY OUT THERE LOVES YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE - Allah will send to you someone when its time.
  4. NOTHING IS UNFORGIVABLE - Allah will raise your rank if you keep repent. He looks at your value, not your looks/body. If you do not know your value yet, do know that the best is yet to come.
  5. RECOGNIZE YOUR TRUE VALUE - Ask yourself, your true purpose of life.
  6. DON'T ATTACH YOUR VALUE FOR OTHER PEOPLE  - People are going to change. They will not stay the same. If you rely on others for compliments, when they stopped doing that, you will feel unloved.

    "Do they not love me anymore?"
    "Why they stop compliment me? "
    "Shall I try harder?"

    In other words, you let them get to you so when they changed, you feel lost. You are too dependent on them. Therefore, don't allow that to change the way you are. Don't hold tightly to people because they will go away.
  7. ALLAH LOVES YOU - Purify yourself internally. Repent. Be fair & honest. Trust & rely on him. 


Below are few quotes that we need to remind ourselves in times we feel lost/unloved/unappreciated:

"If we lose someone that is already decided by God, it means it is already fated. When God takes away someone from you, he is doing it for your own good. For your benefit. All you need is to trust him."

"We all fight our own unique battles. Our battles are different. Stop comparing."
"Go and uplift another person, love them like you've never loved before." 

Before I end this post, I would like to say:
I love you. I love you. For the sake of Allah.

"Love the ones at earth, the heavens will love you.
But first, love yourself first." 





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