Living with a Lie.

assalamualaikum, readers (: 

How do you cope with the feelings of missing someone greatly but he isn't there anymore? How do you cope with the feelings of longing when the person isn't there anymore? I want to forget him but the thought of him and then, remembering him how he makes me happy and makes an effort in everything he does in order to show me that I can trust him.

It has been over. Long ago. 2 years or a year? I don't know but it felt that it was over so long ago. I used to keep our conversations, screenshot them and read it when I miss him. But, I deleted them cause it was unhealthy. Why am I looking at the conversations when he isn''t missing me? Why am I still clinging on to the hope that he will come back for me one day?

I love pick up lines. I really do. And, he will make an effort for that and he will send me texts like "are you awakeee? I bet you look like an angel when you wake up." Instantly, it made me smile even though, I didn't look like that at all. It went on but I guess pick up lines alone isn't enough. And, you know now, when I post a picture of myself with pickup lines, he will like the picture without fail cause I remembered he said to me, "I hope someday, the pickup lines will replace by me as I want to be at its place to make you smile and happy."

Yes, I hold on people's words tightly and it is eating me up slowly. And, it always happen at every dating game I had. Especially for the ones who treats me good and makes an effort in everything he does and even he left me after that, it does not matter because his words, I believe in them because someday he will come back for me. Foolish is what I am. A fool. Pabo.

I am living with a lie that I am okay with this when I misses him too much and I want to know why he leaves me. I am living with a lie that he will come back for me. I've decided that this needs to put an end so I spend time with myself more, do things that I wanted to do, go places I want  to visit and etc. on my own or be with my favourite people.

here is to the better me! one day, my jodoh will come that is better than this. (:

I hope for the best for you too if you are single. The only thing I can do is to pray for the best and tawakkal plus upgrade myself to a better person. The jodoh will come. (:

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