23rd.

assalamualaikum, readers(: 

Soon, it will be 12 midnight. I always stay up so that I get to wish my dear self a good happy birthday wish. Soon, this girl who grows up will soon turn 23 years old. By right, she has already graduated from polytechnic. She will have a stable job and can provide for her parents. She will no longer ask money from anyone. She already knows what she wants to do and set out doing it now. 

But, the truth is she has not graduated yet. She failed her modules and she had to repeat a semester. She is still working part-time job and still unable to provide for her parents. She still has no idea what to do with her life. 

Well, its true what it has been written in Al-Quran. You can plan as many as you want but in the end, the one who make it true is Allah. No one else but Allah. I wanted to celebrate my birthweek but two of my dear ones passed away. One of them is my uncle's mom and another is my uncle in perth, Uncle Saide. It reminds me not to be happy about it tooo much cause afterall, one day, we will die too. Besides that, I got sick. Still recovering. I believe that it is to erase away my sins. 

However, I am glad that Azilah & Fida spend some time with me. Thanks korang for everything!

Now, a letter to myself.

Dear Self,

Please don't be lazy anymore. Do your revision and pass them all so that you can graduate. Do not worry about relationships. I know you are ready to get your heart broken, to cry for them, to get frustrated but believe in Allah, okay? He knows what's best for you. Lets do things step by step. Don't rush cause you will fall if you do. Take a day at a time, 

You are too nice, zu! Do not try to be there for everyone when everyone cannot make the same for you. If you are doing it for everyone, make sure, you are not expecting anything in return from them. Jangan kusutkan fikiran dengan memikirkan benda-benda yang tak sepatutnya difikir. Jangan bebankan diri untuk sesuatu yang tak penting. 

Zu, sometimes you dream too much but its okay. One day, zu, our dreams will come true. Even though, unsure nak buat apa. Tapi tkpe, slowly okay? 

Sorry if I pushed you too hard sampai sakit macam gini. Sorry if I expect too much sampai kadang-kadang kecewa sesangat. Takpe, kita susah dulu, senang-senang kemudian. 

Jangan susah hati bila orang takde nak lap air mata kita. Jangan mengeluh bila kita tak tau nak buat sesuatu benda. Jangan bimbang zu, sebab allah ada untuk kita. 

Dekatkan diri dengan allah, zu! Selalu ingat diaa. Selalu, zu!  (: 

Okay, dah malam dah ni. Jom kita tidur!

Love you sayang, always!

Siti Zulaikha(23)

"I will, honestly, truly, and completely love you."

have a good day! 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Positive To Negative Real Quick.

assalamualaikum, readers. :) Aida Azlin asked in the Sisterhood FB, my biggest lesson this year so far. And I said that, "I learnt that the dua you made at a certain point in life which you really wanted at that point of time, does not need to be answered immediately because Allah has better plans for you in the future. And to get to the things you wanted or even better, you will have to go through his tests and he will reward you greatly. And this year is the year that almost of my dua has been answered. Alhamdulilah for all the blessings he gave me. "  This year was so good that I did not mange to write them down. Allah gave me a job that I fell in love with. I got 2 upcoming school trips. I got to be involved in Introspeksi 2018 again but as a crew which often people overlooked. But it is important as it is. I tried Netball again, a sport I left for 11 years because of aurat. I assist the kids in Netball ECA. Do you know how happy I was? To rekindle love again for
Read more

Hong Kong Day 2-4.

Image
assalamualaikum, readers!  Day 2 post for Hong Kong is finally here. The month has been hectic as Ramadhan is here and also, in between, I run out of energy fast as it was spent at work with the kids. Back to this, basically, Day 2 was just Disneyland. The rides are mostly family friendly meaning more kiddy rides than thrilling rides. I have never been to Disneyland so I decided to start my first Disneyland Journey in Hong Kong. And, ohh, when you saw the train to Disneyland, you know you were going to a magical place. The insides of the train were cute too. From the handles, to the statues and even their windows, how can I not fall in love?  10 April 2018   Hong Kong Disneyland Lantau Island, Hong Kong $88 via Klook App. The park was big and thus, lots of walking. Upon reaching, I knew that I really want to eat the Mickey Mouse waffle as I had been seeing on other people instagram and no, it was not that extraordinary waffle that had fireworks in your mouth,
Read more

Dear Nenek Bibi.

assalamualaikum, readers.  I am sure you've heard the recent natural disasters that happened and also, prior to that, I have friends who lost their loved ones and I have been sending my love and condolences to them. Losing the people we love and when it repeatedly happen, we have to keep coming to terms that they are no longer here on this earth. No longer that figure that we see often at home or during gatherings/hari raya. I lost mine in the midst of having Terminal 2 rehearsals and she was someone that I looked forward to meet when I went to Batam. Every single time I saw her and had conversation with her, my heart just swells with lots of love and happiness. Whenever we parted ways, she always say, "datang selalu, kenal saudara nanti kita dah takde, dah terlambat. Doa untuk nenek ye, jadi kita boleh jumpa lagi. " and that, left just words. I looked up to her because she always on her zikir count. Wherever she was, she always zikir. She never forgets Allah at
Read more