Virtual Love.

assalamualaikum, readers! 

Stubborn. That is me. Getting my heart broken over and over just because someone gave his attention and care to me. Just because his words were sweeter than others. Just because no one else did but him whom actually cares...but virtually. I kept telling myself no more. But I kept on liking those photos, swiping right and reply to their messages. Stubborn until to the same point again. I am tired. For real. I focused on one person and had hopes plus expectations. Viewed his profile so that I will know what he likes and dislikes. His photos so I can imagine my future with him. How foolish. Virtually in love....oh should I say, virtual love??

Initially, I wanted to take it slow but we are going slower than I actually expected. I waited for him to make the first move. I gave up. I made the first move and he laughed at me and said I was funny because obviously, he thought I was joking. I was so sure that he felt the same way as I do. I was so eager to see him on my show day. Cause I got a production last week! I was expecting him. 

But, it came crashing down. He….was busy and he couldn't make it. He booked the ticket but he couldn't be there. I expected that already. Cause I know he is workaholic. He is one workaholic man. But, I kept on hoping that he will turn up. He will….for me. How foolish I am to think that way? He won’t be coming. He won’t get to see me. See the person I had trust in. His empty words. 

I dislike the fact he remembered every single thing about me. I was comfortable with him. But, when the dry conversation started, the usual questions came up, I told myself,” this is a cycle.” I went through this before. I left because it was stagnant. Now, with him, it happens again.

It was nice to know he actually love listening to me, enjoyed every conversation with me but we were too busy to make time for each other. Text messages were convenient for us. But it ruined us too. I can no longer rely on my imagination anymore.

It’s time to stop falling in love with someone in the virtual world, someone that I cannot reach out to, someone that I can only rely on his photos and finally, someone that made me forget about him…slowly.

Hopefully, this time I won't go back to this kind of love. My wish is to just meet someone physically, fall in love with face-to-face kind of thing, and then text. Insha'allah! One day! 

Pray for me!  Amin!

And as for him, be a man that you wanted to be. We will meet in the future. By that time, we will be ready for another step or maybe we will be happy with each other's partners. :) 

 Goodbye, Virtual Love! 

Love, 
Siti Zulaikha. 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Positive To Negative Real Quick.

assalamualaikum, readers. :) Aida Azlin asked in the Sisterhood FB, my biggest lesson this year so far. And I said that, "I learnt that the dua you made at a certain point in life which you really wanted at that point of time, does not need to be answered immediately because Allah has better plans for you in the future. And to get to the things you wanted or even better, you will have to go through his tests and he will reward you greatly. And this year is the year that almost of my dua has been answered. Alhamdulilah for all the blessings he gave me. "  This year was so good that I did not mange to write them down. Allah gave me a job that I fell in love with. I got 2 upcoming school trips. I got to be involved in Introspeksi 2018 again but as a crew which often people overlooked. But it is important as it is. I tried Netball again, a sport I left for 11 years because of aurat. I assist the kids in Netball ECA. Do you know how happy I was? To rekindle love again for
Read more

Hong Kong Day 2-4.

Image
assalamualaikum, readers!  Day 2 post for Hong Kong is finally here. The month has been hectic as Ramadhan is here and also, in between, I run out of energy fast as it was spent at work with the kids. Back to this, basically, Day 2 was just Disneyland. The rides are mostly family friendly meaning more kiddy rides than thrilling rides. I have never been to Disneyland so I decided to start my first Disneyland Journey in Hong Kong. And, ohh, when you saw the train to Disneyland, you know you were going to a magical place. The insides of the train were cute too. From the handles, to the statues and even their windows, how can I not fall in love?  10 April 2018   Hong Kong Disneyland Lantau Island, Hong Kong $88 via Klook App. The park was big and thus, lots of walking. Upon reaching, I knew that I really want to eat the Mickey Mouse waffle as I had been seeing on other people instagram and no, it was not that extraordinary waffle that had fireworks in your mouth,
Read more

Dear Nenek Bibi.

assalamualaikum, readers.  I am sure you've heard the recent natural disasters that happened and also, prior to that, I have friends who lost their loved ones and I have been sending my love and condolences to them. Losing the people we love and when it repeatedly happen, we have to keep coming to terms that they are no longer here on this earth. No longer that figure that we see often at home or during gatherings/hari raya. I lost mine in the midst of having Terminal 2 rehearsals and she was someone that I looked forward to meet when I went to Batam. Every single time I saw her and had conversation with her, my heart just swells with lots of love and happiness. Whenever we parted ways, she always say, "datang selalu, kenal saudara nanti kita dah takde, dah terlambat. Doa untuk nenek ye, jadi kita boleh jumpa lagi. " and that, left just words. I looked up to her because she always on her zikir count. Wherever she was, she always zikir. She never forgets Allah at
Read more